God with us
God with us......
Emmanual Emmanual she cried out....... do you hear me ? Do you ever hear me ? I'm in so much trouble- your so stupid-..... she heard, she looked out the window and around her room. Noone was there. She always cried out to God when she really needed an answer. Noone ever answered her, noone except the bitter quietness. I cannot believe im here again in this sorrow, I hate myself, I hate my life.... when will this pain go away ? The tears fell down her face and noone came, why would they . Noone ever came, and she wouldn't want them too, she hated them.
I need to change my life, I hate this fighting she thought as she listened quietly in her bedroom. I just want to get out of here, but where will I go ? Who will listin to me , how long will I stay , will it change if I leave and come back, she thought. The sounds go all the way upstairs into her room , into her head and into her heart. The sobbing of her mother almost ripped out her heart. Sitting frozen in fear and not sure what to do, she cried herself to sleep. The fake happiness over the next few days was almost unbareable, the i'm so sorry and it will never happen again. Pack your shit and get out !! I'm done, she yelled. There she was Jess was packing up his stuff , tears rolling down her face, just get out ... don't ever come back ! Just when she thought it was over nicoles life was about to get even worse. It didn't take long for her mother to move on, no not at all. All the men in her life were there for little while , and out they went one way or another. Mom, can I do anything ? Always wanting to please her mother, she always wanted to see her smile but instead she always seen her cring... or worse....drunk. Yeh , you can go clean up your mess. You always make a mess, now go clean it. Do the dishes while your out there. Empty the dryer too.
On the bus home from school , she sat there motionless as the girls made fun of her for looking at them . Hey , want me to kick your ass.... stop looking at me, do you like me or something ? ahahahha . She's so stupid, maybe she is gay ? Just get me home without getting punched or something.... she hated riding the bus and all the girl's were so pretty , so much more prettier then her and she thought they must have really nice parents that take care of them. Bought them nice clothes and took them places. As she got off the bus , even more laughter. The smell of weed and alcohol filled the air and people weren't laughing at her, they didn't even notice her. Sliding up the stairs into her room , her hide away. Excape from everyone. She cried, trying to get out all the pain, but it wouldnt leave, it wasn't going anywhere. Im still here, I will never leave you . Hurts doesn't it.
She just wished to go , somewhere, she didn't know where or when or how she just knew something more existed somewhere and she was going to find it. God, do you hear me? I really need you right now. Im so scared and I don't know what to do ? Im all alone.....
Don't tell anyone or I will hurt you, was all she could think about when she woke up. She got up and looked in the fridge for something to eat but all the was there was mustard. Off to school and straight to the office, do you have a granola bar ? Are you hungry again, asked the receptionist. Nicloe shook her head, thank you. Tring to wrap her head around what had happened the night before, she thought about asking the office for more then a granola bar, maybe a counsellor. After school she rushed home, again looking for something to eat. Noone was home. On the way down town , past the local drunks and teenagers on the street. She came to the local tavern, is my mom in here ? Oh yes , she is right over there.... no need to ask who her mom was since they have seen nicole there on more then one occasion. Hi mom , im home from school , but im hungry . Do you have some money ? Jess looked down from the gambling machine, no i don't have any money ... the bitter voice made her look so mean. But mom you do have money , you have 5 credits. All Jess could think was yeh 5 credits, thats it from my money .... Go home ! She was mad from loosing . I walked home thinking about excaping again.... hey theresa... what are you doing ? Im running errands for my mom , what are you doing ? Youre so quiet today , she was unsure and wondering why nicole was so quiet , it wasnt like her. Around Theresa she was always open to her and theresa was much older then her and she looked up to her like a big sister, maybe even a mother. Nothing is wrong, she said boldly. theresa knew differently but wasn't sure what was wrong. Well I have to go and bring this stuff back to my mother. see you later?? she said to nicole. Hungry she headed to the cupboards.... ahhh raveloi ... alright ! Dammmit again, where does the microwave keep going ???
Emmanual Emmanual she cried out....... do you hear me ? Do you ever hear me ? I'm in so much trouble- your so stupid-..... she heard, she looked out the window and around her room. Noone was there. She always cried out to God when she really needed an answer. Noone ever answered her, noone except the bitter quietness. I cannot believe im here again in this sorrow, I hate myself, I hate my life.... when will this pain go away ? The tears fell down her face and noone came, why would they . Noone ever came, and she wouldn't want them too, she hated them.
I need to change my life, I hate this fighting she thought as she listened quietly in her bedroom. I just want to get out of here, but where will I go ? Who will listin to me , how long will I stay , will it change if I leave and come back, she thought. The sounds go all the way upstairs into her room , into her head and into her heart. The sobbing of her mother almost ripped out her heart. Sitting frozen in fear and not sure what to do, she cried herself to sleep. The fake happiness over the next few days was almost unbareable, the i'm so sorry and it will never happen again. Pack your shit and get out !! I'm done, she yelled. There she was Jess was packing up his stuff , tears rolling down her face, just get out ... don't ever come back ! Just when she thought it was over nicoles life was about to get even worse. It didn't take long for her mother to move on, no not at all. All the men in her life were there for little while , and out they went one way or another. Mom, can I do anything ? Always wanting to please her mother, she always wanted to see her smile but instead she always seen her cring... or worse....drunk. Yeh , you can go clean up your mess. You always make a mess, now go clean it. Do the dishes while your out there. Empty the dryer too.
On the bus home from school , she sat there motionless as the girls made fun of her for looking at them . Hey , want me to kick your ass.... stop looking at me, do you like me or something ? ahahahha . She's so stupid, maybe she is gay ? Just get me home without getting punched or something.... she hated riding the bus and all the girl's were so pretty , so much more prettier then her and she thought they must have really nice parents that take care of them. Bought them nice clothes and took them places. As she got off the bus , even more laughter. The smell of weed and alcohol filled the air and people weren't laughing at her, they didn't even notice her. Sliding up the stairs into her room , her hide away. Excape from everyone. She cried, trying to get out all the pain, but it wouldnt leave, it wasn't going anywhere. Im still here, I will never leave you . Hurts doesn't it.
She just wished to go , somewhere, she didn't know where or when or how she just knew something more existed somewhere and she was going to find it. God, do you hear me? I really need you right now. Im so scared and I don't know what to do ? Im all alone.....
Don't tell anyone or I will hurt you, was all she could think about when she woke up. She got up and looked in the fridge for something to eat but all the was there was mustard. Off to school and straight to the office, do you have a granola bar ? Are you hungry again, asked the receptionist. Nicloe shook her head, thank you. Tring to wrap her head around what had happened the night before, she thought about asking the office for more then a granola bar, maybe a counsellor. After school she rushed home, again looking for something to eat. Noone was home. On the way down town , past the local drunks and teenagers on the street. She came to the local tavern, is my mom in here ? Oh yes , she is right over there.... no need to ask who her mom was since they have seen nicole there on more then one occasion. Hi mom , im home from school , but im hungry . Do you have some money ? Jess looked down from the gambling machine, no i don't have any money ... the bitter voice made her look so mean. But mom you do have money , you have 5 credits. All Jess could think was yeh 5 credits, thats it from my money .... Go home ! She was mad from loosing . I walked home thinking about excaping again.... hey theresa... what are you doing ? Im running errands for my mom , what are you doing ? Youre so quiet today , she was unsure and wondering why nicole was so quiet , it wasnt like her. Around Theresa she was always open to her and theresa was much older then her and she looked up to her like a big sister, maybe even a mother. Nothing is wrong, she said boldly. theresa knew differently but wasn't sure what was wrong. Well I have to go and bring this stuff back to my mother. see you later?? she said to nicole. Hungry she headed to the cupboards.... ahhh raveloi ... alright ! Dammmit again, where does the microwave keep going ???
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