No safe place

In the zoom meeting for inner child work. The question was where was your safe place and who were your safe people when you were growing up? For me I didn't have a safe place or safe people. During meditation my mind went to a pumpkin patch outside of my home where I would have been about 7 years old and I found amazement that pumpkins were growing I wanted to know who planned them. I wanted to know where they came from I wanted to know when we could pick them. 

 I had a sad realization that anybody that I had been left with were unsafe people in in unsafe circumstances.

 But during my meditation and being by the pumpkin patch I had a sense of love. This was the 2nd meditation that led me to the pumpkin patch outside of my home where I remember this home in particular having very visual nightmares of police and ambulances and something that resembled a murder scene.